Thursday, July 26, 2007
The train came. Kids ran along. Adults waiting patiently. I saw benches. I sat. Announcement heard. Countless lights. Cold. Couples hugging. Doors opened. Doors closed. & the train went. GONE. I was wondering something. Wad was i waiting for? The train, or u? i tried my best to move on and got back together. & now, u're gone, AGAIN. maybe there IS/WAS something wrong between us. was it the way i re-acted or the way he spoke to me? everything is in a mess now. i dunno wad i should do. this is the second time he RAISED his VOICE at me. goodness gracious. everything seems wrong. simply wrong. i dunno wads wrong. argh. i hate this feeling. but it's okay. i told myself to be strong. & be a good gal. i guess, thats fate.
papa, im sorry. :( i told u the other day that we patch things up. but.. everyhing went wrong again. i dun wanna talk abt it. when im ready, den i tell u.
daughter, i need u now. :( or maybe, as soon as possible. im going to sch tmr and everything will be OKAY. i hope.
so, eventually after everything ended just that afternoon, i met aqidah and poured my heart out. i cant keep it in me any longer. so.. she brightened the rest of my day and yeah. i do need a brand new start. let people say wadeva they want to. all i knw, i'll be happy. even though... there goes my love.
a hug will do, sometimes.
best frends forever (bff)!!
reunion.
reflection.
dun jealous..
in the end.. i made up my mind. i want to have a fresh start. i want my life back to normal. knw wad? at least i got my family members and close frends hu could brighten up my day. or at least, make me smile once again.
Dear God, I cherished all the people around me and I thank You for everything that You gave. Forgive all my sins and bring me close to You each day. Amin. (:
-& i leave you @ 22:36 :)
Monday, July 23, 2007
nothing much to say, simply photos.
east coast, with cousin.
a ray of light is enuff to make me happy.
me, cousin.
me, cousin.
kampung style of dinner. cousins, me.
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when sorrow turns to stupidity.
cousins, me. credits to colourful crackers.
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cousin, me
at least im happy with them.
best cousin. he rocked my wurl.
was it something you say, to make me turn away?
-& i leave you @ 16:49 :)
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
i really dunno what i should do, who should i blame or what will happen. i cant even explain things for myself. & goodness, things are going haywire. of coz, i feel so so sad and disappointed by all his actions. however, i dunno wad i should do. sometimes, i cried silently, not knowing wad to do, till everything gets worse. i've lost the person i love dearly. & i dunno why. yes, i do initiate the break-up. but.. i have my reasons. why why isnt he caling me back to stay, and say straight to me tat he loves me still? why does this happen to me now? why not later? and why must that lena be so close to him. YES, i do feel the jealousy soemtimes. but if he treat her the same way he treat me, where do i stand? he kept telling me that she is his frend and yeah, i dun mind.. but why those msges? it hurts me, alot. a guy whom i trusted for 1 and a half year doesnt learn his lesson. i cnat believe that he culd watch me go, without calling me on the hp, asking me to be with him once again and telling me how much i mean to him in his life. instead, he just kept SILENT everytime i sent him a msg or gave him a call. now wad is that suppose to mean? WHY ARE YOU PLAYING WITH YOUR SILENCE, dammit!!!!! :'( now things turned upside down and he expect me to pick those pieces up and be a good gal to come back to him. now wad does he always say?
" im sorry "
"she's just a frend "
" i dun want it to end like this "
" but i still love you "
after much that's happened, he could say all that only?
damn, im scared, and shit. im crying,
-& i leave you @ 19:08 :)
Monday, July 16, 2007
Lothars and Gerald
Look at wad my son (hareez) did. Goodness.
BURNT.
Ice-Cream!!!
Mum and Me @ Lido
Ouh.
Haha. SImpsons.
POOL.
Nic, Ryan and Reez
weekends were great. haha. well.. on sat.. went shopping with mum at town. haha. actually.. my cousin kinda boked tickets to watch harry potter together. well.. since we came early, we managed to drop by at paragon and shopped there. mum bought something from the la senza. den.. went to metro and islang shop to take a look at some stuffs. well... after that, mum and i went to buy shirts for bro. after that.. we went to sat at macd for a drink.. den saw aunts and cousins.. haha. so.. that evening.. we went watch movie. haha. and damn. harry potter is so so drop-dead gorgeous. hahaha. i mean.. he's so handsome!! goodness. after that went bedok for dinner. haha. ok.. that's for sat.
sunday.. went for a gathering with my ex-classmates. went to play pool and ate seoul garden. damn. i think there's no point for me to jog, when my input and output is the same. hahha. okay. nvm. yeah.. i had hell lot of fun and yeah. tiring. but still, at seoul garden i dun really eat alot cause my tooth was achign super mad. yeah. damn pain. hais. nvm. see wad i can do with it.
so now.. im in class. second breakout. haha. everyone went for break. i told fin to buy me donuts. haha. i cant eat solid food, i think. but nvm. worth trying. okay. so.. yeah nothing to update then.
we went separate ways. not only it broke ur heart, but it broke mine too. but think. it's unfair. ridiculously unfair. learn how to differentiate a frend and a girlfriend. it helps a lot. till then, i shall keep my silence. only u knw wad u are suppose to do. & of coz, i will always love u.
-& i leave you @ 12:29 :)
Thursday, July 12, 2007
these few days things were going on great. ok lah. not so fine either, cause im tired most of the time. hais. bt nvm. yest dear bought me a skirt and a new necklace. yaay-ness. it's been sucha long time since i went "shopping with him". today, he bought me a gingerbread woman ear studs and a pink ring. nice, i tell u. damn gorgeous.
oh ya. at s'goon got this pasar malam thing. haha. dear and i went there and bought candy floss. haha. remind me of the good old days when we were still young then, pleading mum and dad to get those colourful floss. (: yeah.. so.. today went there again, to buy uno card. haha. there's alwys something in his mind. (:
anyway, i dunno why, i shed tears when i was watching jordin sparks's clip during her memorable moment on American Idol. she sang beautifully till my hair stood up. talkign bout singing, there's some1 kinda dun like me to sing. i dunno wads wrong with her. she kinda hurt me in a way. since young, i like to sing, dance and have stupid or i shall say crappy chatters everyday. maybe not so stupid, but good enuff to cheer everyone up. but sometimes, things just dun work out the way it is. yes, i do love to sing and people who knew me alot sang along wif me too. people love to see me sing. i knw i wunt go as far as superstars but at least this voice of mine could bring me SOMEWHERE, i hope. well.. looks like i wunt sing in class anymore. but, i can sing somewhere, where people will appreciate my voice. that is, my home. my family members and gerald. not 2 mention my sec sch frends. they knew i got talent. however, i kinda doubt wad they said. i dunno why. maybe, this singing thing could just... be a passion for me. i hope, 1 day, i will realize my dream. i wish.
-& i leave you @ 23:17 :)
Sunday, July 08, 2007
hello. haha. ok. wad a thing to say uh? hahah. so.. this weekend was so super great. went to watch transformers. like finally. haha. went to watch it with bro and dear. hhha. irritating ppl. but nvm. hahaha. had lotzza fun with them. LOL. haha. so.. everythign went alrite. before we catch the movie.. went to play xbox 360 at the cathay. hahaha. ok lah. bro and gerald look so stupid when they are attacking each other in the battle. ok. nvm. haha.. so today.. kinda... dry.. nothing much to do.. parents went for wedding lunch at potong paisr and serangoon. but i didnt follow. haha. mum said no need. only 2 places. den.. bro and i stayed at home. watch chicken little awhile.. den dear came serangoon to play with us.. well.. he just came from the airport, after sending his parents off to china, for a business trip. haha. so.. his bro drove him here. yeah. den.. we played donkey, snap and monopoly for the 3 hours we spend together. haha. bro, me and dear really had fun playing. hahgaha. lucky i didnt get to jail alot of times. (unlike dear and bro. partners in crime). hahaha. okay.. so.. nth much to update then.. oh yaa. i forget. tmr SC investiture. wishing all leaders their best tmr! (: haha. &, next sat im watching harry potter. damn, i think i gonna melt. haha. til then.
(: love.
-& i leave you @ 22:35 :)
Thursday, July 05, 2007
ok. today's lesson was a bit hectic and a bit stressful. hais. nvm. it's a 3 man work. bleah. wadeva. so.. yesterday went jogging. haha. i feel... refreshed everytime i finish jogging at home. hahha. cool. ok.. so nothing to update really. just random photos, again. haha. well.. a picture paints a thousand of words. hahhaa... ok wadeva!
-& i leave you @ 16:23 :)
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
my gf & me
jia wei eating chicken
gf and me again!
today was fine till someone spoil my mood. i really hate it when something comes into my way last minute. i simply hate it. no matter who is the person, i just simply HATE it. too bad. thats the way i am. school ended quite early today and it feels weird. but nvm. i kinda hang arnd wit Jia wei, claris and fione. funny funny people. anyway fione, i didnt get dump by harry potter. it's just that im giving way to that cho chan. haha. goodness. hahha. anyway, i still got hermoine as my best frend. better dun jealous! haha. i knw jia wei jealous super mad. haha. he was like.. always get irritated with my chatter. haha. dummy boy, with a cow face! hahahhaha. okay.. so.. nothing happened then.. took pictures with claris and jia wei eating his fried chicken wing. hahah.
went home.. mum was like angry. didnt call her earlier. haha. so.. now.. i just finish doing my RJ. ahha. just came bac frm jogging too!! damn refreshing, i tell u. anyway, i really wanna lose some weight. not some, i gues.. maybe.. lose more weight. cause i find that im damn round!! hahha. lol. kks. shall update photo.
anyway, mr-u-think-u're-good, i hate u. u simply spoil my mood. go ahead wit that freaking dinner. like i care! anyway, i prefer to avoid u. at least im happy. take that! shut up and get a life.
-& i leave you @ 22:00 :)
Monday, July 02, 2007
weekend was sucha bore. saturday didnt went out, eventually. hais. wanna watch fireworks.. but dad rather stay at home and watch football. aiyoh. den mum also i think... she tired. aiyah. dunno lah. haha. den.. on that saturday morning.. that MIO guy came and install the device for us. hahha. yes ar. like finally i can surf the net with my laptop. (: hahha. den dear anyhow bully me.. by saying.. "wah. online always ar. got MIO alrd ar." hahha. LAUGH OUT LOUD. haHA. well.. thats for saturday..
on sunday? went to uncle's apartment to celebrate my cousin'sbdae. c'mon. he's only a year old. aiyoh. hahah. but still, had fun with my cousin who came out with the games. haha. she's one crazy gal, i tel u. haha. but hey. we had super duper fun, okay? hahha. no photos of that to update.
anyway, now.. im with dear. eating.. hahha. (: so.. till then.
DEAR, dun nonsense with me. can? HAHA. (:
-& i leave you @ 17:04 :)
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